A Tribute To David Bell

I sit on an Bench

Engraved David Bell

My mother’s friend’s husband

Whom I’ve never met

Who I never will.

I’m sitting on his memorial.

Yet words rush from his mouth

Into hot metal

Into my eyes

Tethered to space but untethered to time.

He speaks

Not an idea

But a feeling

That takes hold and fills me with passion

That left me sitting on a cool bench

In sunny Pass-A-Grille.

From a man who’s loss I can never fully appreciate

Words I’ve never heard spoken

In a voice a cannot imagine

Placed on a bench



In complete silence, I hear them:

“I think I’m quite ready for another adventure.”

Stem Cells

A heart is not a match

Patient sits

Living but dying

As the las hope fades

The last chance to replace

With something new


Something old

Just might do.

Because hearts have skeletons

Like a mini person inside

Hearts can break and

Hearts can break down

So all you need

Is a new coating

All you need is new flesh

Dig deep into your bones

Where the little factories lie

Pieces of you but younger

Filled with past pride,

Stem cells.

Take them out

Shape them

Grow them

Over your skeleton heart

Melt down the decaying meat

Let fresh protein flow.

Suddenly it’s beating again

Living without dying

Patient sits

Growing a heart

Is a match.


The terrorists terrorize again.

We respond with anger and violence.

It’s not because we want to,

We have to

Discussion is useless

We speak different languages

Not of the alphabet but of the heart.

Their language of love is different than ours

So when we scream “your love isn’t love!”

They hear lies

And deceit.

So we bomb them

And they bomb back

Evil doesn’t exist, can’t anyone see that?

There’s only misunderstanding

Only miscommunications.

The universal language of love is out there

Over the babble of war and religions and fear,

It’s in you.

So when a person stands before you

With practices strange and foreign

Remember their cells, blood, and bones

Remember they have smiles and homes

Remember we are all just carbon

Chemicals cooked in stars years ago

Rained down in stardust

Stardust down to our souls,

It’s in you.



College has been rough

Exams and work and life

But I’ve let my mind go raw

With facts and no art

So to the blog I’ve had since Freshman year:

I’m a Freshman again

Let me  try again.


I looked to the earth
For some kind of universal truth
But I just saw the same colors I always do
Green and white and brown and blue
I realize I cannot see anything new

Until I’m finally alone with the view 

Emerald Green

Today my demons were

Much quieter than before

I wonder if time

Will be the only cure,

To the burns that mark my body

And the ash inside my heart.

I was so drunk on love before

I used gasoline to put the flames out.

I hope you can see me

The same way that I see you

I see you in emerald green

You see me in ocean blue,

But I’m sweeter than the ice

That coats the ocean waves

And you’re softer than the stone

I see within your gaze.

Healing is never quick

If you want to do it right,

So don’t take my hesitation

As a sign of spite.

I live in ocean cold

My eager flames have drowned,

But light me like a match

My flames will burn unbound.

Sophomore Prom Queen

Sixteen years old

And I was a Sophomore

Prom Queen.


By anger or sadness


I did not know


Seventeen years old

And I had died

A wreck, a failure.

Angry at the world

Sad for my loss


Of the Sophomore Prom Queen


Of the Junior outcast.

Eighteen years old

And I am healing

Still a failure, a wreck.

But the sinking ship

Sits on land


By anger, sadness

Jealousy and insecurity,

But no longer owned.

Nineteen years old

I will rise

And I will remember

How to love the girl

Who once was

The Sophomore Prom Queen.



I see you

Behind those hazle-green eyes.


I know you

There’s nowhere you can hide.

Green eyes,

Do you lie

When I ask if you’re okay?

Those green eyes

Unmask your disguise

When I ask the things she says.

She says

“You’re not his”

But I see love in your face.

She says

I’m out of days

But I’m up for the chase.


I love you

You can’t run away


“I love you,”

And I know you’re going to stay.

I Carry You’re Heartbreak

I carry

You’re heartbreak in my mind

You are heart break

Like glue

Which rips when pulled but

Like glue you are ugly and messy

Entwined which rips when pulled

I fear

This weight I carry of broken

Bones and vomit I cannot rid myself of

Because you are gone but imprinted

You’re heartbreak

Hurt and not in

The way that am stronger but paranoid

I carry

Loving doubts of love

Memories of sorrow of what we had become

Hate the way I wonder

If you carry heartbreak.

Ode To Strength

I’m not scared of myself here

Loneliness, the least of my fears

I’ll be my own best friend

I’ll be my own best friend

My demons have gone back to bed now

I’m not really sure how

But I know this isn’t the end

I know that I won’t end

I flower like the sun

The sky calls me to the soil

Ascension imminent

So I’ll tell them

You’ve never seen me

In the golden light I was made for

You can’t see what I’ve become

So don’t tell me

They all scream that they’re dying

I say, you’re not even trying!

I’ve lived through hell and back

I shook the Devil’s hand

I know I’m something different

My purpose unlimited

Not even God could hold me back

God couldn’t hold me back

Scars, holy like angels

Wielded weapons of my heart

Against pains of my life

They can’t tell me

I’m not as strong as they come

You try and take my burden I carry

And watch your bones break

So don’t tell me

Don’t tell me

I’m weaker than the sea

My eyes glow with raw power

I won’t be scared of anything

I’m not sorry.