I’m not fixed yet

But at least I’m at war again

Maybe the first time

I lost the battle in my mind

But I’m fighting again

Charging forward, alone this time

Solo when my feet hit the ground

Staring at my own hungry eyes

Sometimes you need a mirror, not a window 

Now I’m a firecracker

Burning revenge on my left shoulder

Desire flaming on the right

This time I’m ready

Ready to take what I want

Make it mine even if it’s already claimed

Timidness has seeped from my bones

Dripped from blood and sweat

Product of the strength

The dauntlessness I have gained

I am the alpha

I am in charge

I will not be taken down 

I am a firecracker.

How To Write A Poem

It’s 4AM blasting music
So loud like you’re
Trying to flush the words right out of your brain-
Single replacement
Pumping words in to push your words out
Out through your mouth or better yet
On to paper so they can stay
Rather than falling past stars, echoing out
Never to be heard again.

Then it’s a tap faucet
Whose handle’s been broke
Just gushing out a toxic flow
Kneeling beside the edge of the bed
Head down, but I can’t seem to pray
The voice is too loud so I must let it out-

And the best part is it’s quiet.

Headphones and silence and nighttime and calm
Sound exists only behind my tired eyes
So loud in the silence of everyone else…

Then it’s 8AM waiting patiently.
Typing each line like it’s numb and contained
Stripping out deeper meaning
From each raw emotion
Like there wasn’t that 4AM commotion

Because days break us but hours heal
Because days are filled without all sorts of reactions:
Interactions and suspense
Running and falling, scraping
Against all the minds that exist in my town
Like a glacier
Picking up material- gently forced
To spit back out in the aching
Hours of the night
Who polish my surface again
Make me an ice sculpture
Out of the rawness of human nature
So my words purify.

You know what I find?
You can’t write about anything that isn’t completely personal
If you say you can it’s a lie
You’re blind.
You can’t really write about the war in Iraq
Without touching on the war in your mind
You can’t write about monks who burned until they were black
Without feeling some of the blackness inside

So you write a poem.
And it’s all wrong
Twisted up and coded to death
But it’s beautiful.


My hometown’s in the dark

I enjoy the night

A certain air of excitement

Gazing out a blackened window

The square glass holding the future

Promise of tomorrow

I slip quietly beneath violet skies

My hometown slips into slumber

I trickle through charcoal streets-

Unnoticed and undisturbed

Giddy in the grasp of isolophilia

They sleep through the stars

Close their eyes to the ones of twilight

Close their minds to the ones of flesh

Too quiet at night

But much too loud in the daytime

  I’ve never feared gloaming

Sunsets bring galaxies,

In the empty openness

I am free  

My hometown is bumbling

Clawing through dusk, screaming, tripping

It’s a race into the day

Sempiternal begging for light

Silly, when their backs are turned

To the glowing aura

In the midst of the dark.

Of Gods and Animals

Youth is a paradox

 Because the young look at the young

And the rabbits are filled with fear

The lions and tigers with excitement

We see each other as animals

Our teenage years the jungle

Tigers want to stay

Feast and laugh and drink

Blood and wine give the same buzz

Rabbits want to run

Run from the mess and pain

The scourge of lost love

Run into twenty-one and freedom from claws…

The old are not the same.

To them, we are not animals

We are Gods.

Shining hair and straight teeth

Blissfully ignorant of the world’s constraints

Even rabbits miss the liberation of running

Ache for humid jungle air

The acid taste of a rainstorm to come.

To the old, the young are invincible

Youth is Enlightenment

To the young,

Youth is trial by Darwinism

And the old stare at the young

And the young stare at the old

As they watch animals become Gods

With the wolves howling as if to say:

“What did you expect?”

The Harbinger

Change must be my idiosyncrasy

I’m in front of the woods

In love with the moon

But terror rips through me

At the howling of the wolves.

I promised to leave my wistfulness

With the grave I laid my lacerated heart

I let my liberator lock me up,

Safety’s just too insipid for me.

Now you’ve abrogated my absolution

Destroyed my declaration

I’m glass unbroken

Lying in shards of shattered resolutions.

Your levity of my destruction

Leaves me the strongest shell you ever saw

You smirk at my walls, harbinger

Warn me they’ll fall

Oh, love, you don’t even know.

There’s nothing that can detract my defenses

Not this time

The Girl of Change won’t crumble

Between the teeth of wolves.

I won’t allow you to impede me

A bitten lip won’t keep my mouth shut

Unsinking into warm depths,

I rise to an undertone of victory.


This is more than I bargained for
You’ve been forcing on me everything you think I feel,
But I’m coded in ways that you can’t see.
I was meant for this, but was I meant for you?
I’m just a violet mess of
Disheartened, vitriolic melodies.

I’m caustic, psychotic
You’re a siren and I’m caught in the rocks and shore

And I’m expecting this disconnecting
It’s logic, it’s catastrophic
Sealed my fate with a bullet
I’m holding the gun but you have the trigger.

Trust me, this is more than you can take
A calamity is our only option here
I’ll ruin you just like I always do
It’s just a virus, I infect the best of them
Tear up your insides
Before the blood cells kick in

 Kiss me now before I run
I’m just a renegade, and I’ll take off when the sky blackens.

You’re pushing me harder into this ardor
And I’m the one asphyxiated, strangulated
Smile because I’m elated
One of us will end up degraded.


I am a fire
Singe and burn
I am the queen and I’m here to end your reign
They stole my ending
They killed my dreaming
I’m writing it out this time because I hold the pen and I’m estranged

My navy has been sinking
But my courage is done shrinking
I don’t need love to carry on

So I’m fine being on my own
This life is mine, it’s all I’ve known
So I’ll go and keep it to myself
I like it more being alone
They won’t dare to touch my throne
And I know that I am prone to run

But I won’t leave this time.

I have my army
Of a thousand words
I’ll spit them, venom, and let the poison bite your wounds.
I’m diseased with victory
And blessed with fate
I’ll give you failure more than you give me hate.

Stolen hearts are burning
I watch your terror churning
That’s what you get for tearing at me


Do not let your liberator cage you in


Run past open arms

And do not glance at welcoming smiles

Once your liberator has set you free,


Because you owe them nothing.


Do not let your liberator hold you hostage

Lie-filled whispers to lure you back in

Tempt you away from freedom

Saying that they are your safety-

That your captor still waits for you

And that you have nowhere to hide.


Do not let your liberator tie you down

Shooting ropes of fear through terrified hearts

That you cannot make it on your own

You can

They bent the bars of your cell

But they did not save you-

Just gave you the opportunity to save yourself.


Do not let your liberator in

Sand slipping

Through the cracks of your insecurities

Tighten up

Spit poison and venom-

Because despite the appeals they make

Despite the shield they offer from the blistering winter

Despite the glimmering intentions on their lips

Remember this:

Your liberator does not want to set you free.

So run.

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For The Love Of GOD, Do Not Text Your Ex


Sometimes we all need to hear something like this. I know I do every once in awhile, but we are all stronger than we think. Sometimes we just need a reminder to stay strong.

-Girl of Change

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Put your phone down just for five minutes. Please! Give me five minutes of your time. Just five minutes. Or however long it will take you to read this. I can’t control what you do after you read this and I therefore will relinquish all responsibility after these five minutes are up, but I feel a huge responsibility to stop you now. Obviously, since you clicked this article, you are reaching out to me for heartbreak help. So now you are my responsibility. It’s okay! I will help you.

Do NOT text your ex.

Don’t. Listen to me! I’m serious. What do you really want to say to them? Think about it. I can assure you that it is not anything you have typed in that text message box on your phone right now. Actually, I am completely positive of that. I would bet my life on it. Even if…

View original 983 more words

Romanticizing Romance

My fear overtakes me now
Said I’d never let it take me live,
But now I’m falling free with every thread that breaks
There’s ground that’s rushing up but
I guess it’s better than being tied down.

I’m stripped of my protective shell
Trying to be strong without my pocket knife
Took it from me before I realized
I need it again, because no one’s by my side

I won’t be sad, not this time
Love is not enough for I’m still rough
Not enough to get by
Destructive as a drug, keeps you high
Sober up, don’t let it run
Can’t let it run my life

Easier to look back to the other side
Harder to remember that strong pain
Memories make it hard to save
Romance is romantic
When it’s just in the past
Try and try, remember how it made you cry.