I held the script gingerly in my finger tips. Its pure white cover glinted in the sun. I smirked as I ran the pages through my hands. It so small, so short. It was so very innocent, a lovely little family play. A classic. Flipping to page 25 I found my lines. Scribbled hastily in the margines were my director’s notes; “snuggle up.” An involuntary gasp escaped my lips. The sensation that tingled through my body surprised me, and the script jumped from my hands. The memory of his body pressed up against mine overwhelmed my senses. It’s not that it was him. He wasn’t important, he didn’t have any pull over me. He had only started this. The day I touched him for the first time was the day I unraveled. I’d felt my loyalties draining from me, theater filling up its spot. 62 pages. The thin script had only 62 pages. I set it down heavily on my nightstand and threw my head into my hands. This play would be my undoing, I could feel it in my bones. I wanted to run from it all, to turn back time and take my name off the audition list. I laughed at that thought, it was much too late for those thoughts. Opening night was tomorrow. My doomsday had begun.
My stomach turned over and over until my gut felt like a windmill, slowly rotating. My mind was reeling. I couldn’t take any of it, everything was spinning too fast.
How had it all changed? How had my alluring, startstruck life been molded into pure wreckage. I wanted Monday back. I wanted be in math class with my love again. I wanted something, ANYTHING to happen to prevent me from going that rehearsal.
Another voice in my head was begging for it. I was compelled towards the glamour, the irresitable beckoning of the theater, and the seductive pull of the actors. The seductive single life of an actress. I knew exactly what I needed. The thought troubled me, tugged at my gut again. The desicion facing me wasn’t a descision I could turn my back on if my heart changed. But the theater was much too powerful to resist.
So I made the phone call.
I broke my ties.
I ended it.
Oh, was it worth it.
The theater had her vixen back.