Oh So Lovely

Oh So Lovely

Would it really be so bad?
New year, new me.
So easy to change
Back.
Would it really be so bad
To dress in pink instead of black
To paint my nails gold instead of mauve
To switch out intelligence
For ignorance?
To recant my revolution
To recall my rebellion.
I could be her again
Bubbly
Lovely
Cute as a button
Quiet yet thoughtful
Beautiful and subordinate
I remember when I was her.
I miss her sometimes
She flashes through me
Like glimpses of the sun on a rainy day.
When did it change?
When did I switch?
A beat of a drum
And the media became transparent
The riff of a guitar
And my friends did, too.
I can never go back
Not completely, anyways.
But maybe I’ll wear a dress tomorrow
Maybe I’ll sing along to the radio
Maybe I’ll wear pink
Maybe I’ll paint my nails gold
I’ll text my friends
I’ll crush on boys
I’ll
Be
Her
On the outside, at least.
But I promise
Yes I promise
I’ll never stop thinking
Outside the box
A pretty face
A dark heart
A smart head
But that’s ok, right?
Can something beautiful be dark?
Can something dark be smart?
I guess we’ll find out
That’s who I’m going to be
This year.

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