What Happened To Just Messing Around?

Three days and I’m lost
How strange is it to think
That a month ago
You barely even mattered?
One moment I’m shirtless in the back of your car
Next you’re arm’s around me
While you fall into a steady rhythm
Complacent and asleep.
Is this just lust?
Or could it be the dawning?
They say your first love makes you realize
That your first love
Was not your first love.
So when does the cycle end?
When is there certainty?

Tomorrow will be four days
And I’m still not sure how I’ll feel
Is there an unwritten law
An agreed upon charter
Signed in blood at birth
That forces my deadlock
To break?

Free fall
My confederates won
The losing battle for me
In a way, I guess.

Probably vodka
On their lips
Opened parts of themselves up
I still have locked

Just lie back and spread your legs

But he’s not like that
At least not yet
I just hope by the time he is
I’ve found strength, or at least
A burst of white-lightning lust
To say
I love you


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