Everything I Want (Everything I’m Not)

My heart is heavy today
Lined the inner parts
With the sticky yellow residue
Of my past.
It makes no sense to me
You are broken
Broken head
From a broken home
Blighted friends
With a mutated past
A recipe for disaster
An underrated, self-conscious
Mess.
Yet here I stand…
Smiling faces
Perfect friends with lovely bends
Sweet and soft mother
Sits next to
My ever helpful father
Both would give up everything
For me
A dream life
Gestures like the movies
I’m a recipe for perfection
Perfection…
So why is it
When you embrace me
I feel echo in my bones
What’s verified by my blood;
You are perfection
And I’m the disaster?

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