Emerald Green

Today my demons were

Much quieter than before

I wonder if time

Will be the only cure,

To the burns that mark my body

And the ash inside my heart.

I was so drunk on love before

I used gasoline to put the flames out.

I hope you can see me

The same way that I see you

I see you in emerald green

You see me in ocean blue,

But I’m sweeter than the ice

That coats the ocean waves

And you’re softer than the stone

I see within your gaze.

Healing is never quick

If you want to do it right,

So don’t take my hesitation

As a sign of spite.

I live in ocean cold

My eager flames have drowned,

But light me like a match

My flames will burn unbound.

Stay

Is it just the weather

Or is it something more?

Will I get better

Once it gets warm?

_

Am I not meant to be

Alive in love?

Am I not meant to be

In love while I’m alive?

_

And my body shivers

At the thought of letting you go,

But for some reason I do so much better

In life when I’m alone.

_

My brain tells me to stay with you

My heart just doesn’t know

I guess I’ll stick around for now

If for nothing more than a show.

_

I have to believe to stay sane

I want to have trust,

But when you say her name

My head feels rushed.

_

My confidence says you won’t leave

But my insecurities are angry and mean

How can I stay confident when I feel deceived?

Those girls are so plain but they turn me green.

_

So I shut my eyes blindly

To the words that feel wrong

I’ll take every sentence kindly

And let the nights get long.

Going On Fifteen

It’s senior year

But I’m still stuck

Living as a sophomore

I’ve been fifteen

For three whole years

And now it’s made me mean

But this time I might break free

If you’ll stay with me

And I can’t be scared

Or I’ll stay in a nightmare

I miss my dreams:

I could say love

Instead of affection,

I could love

Without fear of rejection.

I’d kill for that

Memories

Old laughs

The north beaches

I’d kill them all

If it meant moving forward

Eighteen years old

In rain-tinged Okemos

And so alive

I think you can make me alive.